It's raining men

I must say in the last few days, I have managed to turn a couple of heads.

Let's start with bikeridercrush. Saturday involved a nice little walk and dinner outside. We had a lot of fun, and I'm starting to think this may be going somewhere. Then it starts to pour and we have about 15minutes of walking left. We did not opt for the cab since it wasn't cold, and Mr. sexypants walked me to my door.
Now, I was thinking about inviting him in (since ya never know what will happen after romantic date in the rain), but then I remebered how nasty my apartment is. So no, nothing happened. I did get a nice hug and awkwardly avoided what was an attempt at a kiss. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Here's the kicker: about 10 minutes after I get in, my electricity goes off. Shit. Um...should've invited him in...shit. Oh well, I'll see him soon. But, he did text me that his place was very lonely...so I probably should have invited him in. Hmm...I think a class on not being socially awkward would be beneficial for me.

FFD to Sunday evening. Nice walk with new friend of mine to include a bbq. This guy is sweet, but there is no attraction on my end. That's ok, cuz we have started a 4-square league which is so super cool. If anyone wants to join, uh, just let me know.

Monday, I catch my neighbor in the hall, and I now have a coffee date tomorrow. I don't think anything will happen with this one, but he is a chef and I love to eat, so.... We'll see.

And for the Pièce de résistance: I have managed to turn a head last night on my weekly Wednesday outing (wearing scrubs, mind you). Oh he is so cute. He is a friend of our server (who has become a friend after many Wednesday nights). He is precisely the right amount older than me, finishing school, has job, and looks like Jake Gyllenhaal.
Ok, so I play out the whole night pretty well and we have swapped numbers to chill this weekend. Holycraphesgorgeous!

So, apparently, I still have it. (Oh, and floppyhair crush touched my leg last night).

Also, to add to my awesomeness, I finally cleaned out the crock pot that I made soup in...last month. I cannot even tell you how awfully nasty that shit was. Never again. I will become a clean freak, especially if I want Jake Gyllenhaal to come over and impregnate me.

Ex's for Sexes...ish.

So I had planned my Friday out to a tee. (what the hell is a tee when planning?). Yes, I ordered Pizza Luce and resigned myself to my beer and the Nanny*. As I was sipping my beer and smoking my p-funk, I get a phone call from my ex-boyfriend that recently moved to NY. See, we are friends now, ever since he dated my roomie and basically moved in. Not basically, he really did move in, just didn't pay rent. However, he made scrambled eggs and woke me up with breakfast in bed many times. (Doesn't excuse the free rent).



Anyhow, he calls me, wasted...to say hi from Brooklyn. I thought that was a nice thing to do, and so my night continued with a smile and played out sitcoms and pizza...until...



THE OTHER EX! duh duh dunnnnn...



Apparently he is wasted as well. (how exactly do my ex's get such a social life you ask? I gave it to them, and they stole it) Here goes the convo:


him: "Jussss one kestin."


me: "what?"



him:"Did you ever think I was sessually attractive?"


me:"No, I was in it for the money."


him:"Serrrrioussssly."


me:"Duh, I was."


him:"K. I juss had bad week and need some reassssssurance."


me:"why the bad week?"


him:"I don wanna tak bout it."


me:"Right, that's why you called me."



Thus began the hour conversation that went no where. Eventually he started to cry and asked me to come over to "snuggle". What the hell is that? Snuggle. Huh. Bullshit. So after accusing me of about 45672645348957 different things that never happened, he finally settled for dinner on Sunday and probably won't actually show up (thank God). Then he passed out. He's so lonely and only has me as a friend... Boo fucking Hoo. Should've made your bed instead of sleeping w/ multiple girls in it and maybe we would be friends. So anyhow...that was my Friday.


My left shoulder hurts. My work shoe is still broken. It's a lovely day, which means that I will have approximately 32 smoke breaks at work and debate escaping in such a way only those that have seen The Stand could understand.



Oh...I forgot the best part. On my way home from work, my old friend/crush (not the floppy haired one, the one with muscles and lung capacity to ride a bike) called me to see if I wanted to hang out after we get off work today. I said yes. Duh. He is super cute and, well, actually a nice guy. Haven't had that in a while. I suppose my standards have gotten a little low:

1. Breathing
2. Not killer/rapist
3. Has legs (negotiable)
4. Tells me I'm cute

This one has a job! Hooray!

I'm pretty excited, and this is why:

Straw orgie: more action than I've seen in a while.

I'll prolly post again, since I'm super bored at work and have no life. Wait, I might be getting one soon. Stand by.

*Yes, the Nanny. I'm getting old.

Friday is not fun day...that is what Sunday's for.

I've spent a total of 6 hours and 37 minutes awake. Of those, 30 minutes was walking the four legged terror, 30 was primping for work (making sure by clothes at least smelled clean), 30 minutes driving, and the rest is at work. Not too busy, I decided to start a blog. This will basically indulge my vain side, and no one will actually ever read it. Damn.

Also, I broke my shoe.

The rest of my Friday will consist of drinking beer, wine, or coctails at my place with the 4-legged terror as I have to work early tomorrow. Hopefully I can adjust the right amount of alcohol to make me sleepy by midnight and not too sleepy to wake up or have hang over.

Story from Wednesday:

I have this friend that is super nice, but a little much. So, I have adopted a theory: we hang out only once a week and then she gets her fix of me and I don't have to see her until the next week. Here's where it gets weird. . . She copies me all the time. Yes, copies. This is bizarre since it's been over a decade since jr. high, and I am not at all used to this behavior. Recently she has decided to crush on my crush (fine, since neither one of us will get him anyway). Not only crush on my crush (cute floppy greasy hair crush), but dresses up for him when we know we'll see him and then tells me how hot she's looking. Damn...I'm still in my work clothes and sporting a small volcano on my forhead and probably have salad dressing or coffee stain somewhere on my person. I guess this is better than the time she bought the same purse as me (on purpose) and got a similar hair cut/dye job.

And this, folks, is why I spend my Fridays alone.

OK, I'm not that lame...am I?